I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
