And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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