i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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