It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
