I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
