Already got asked if we're dating
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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