As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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