there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize