What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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