Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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