Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How's work?
Spinning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize