Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize