apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize