Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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