My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
