I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
