Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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