yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
