I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
