i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize