How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was CRYING into my vagina
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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