i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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