Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize