I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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