i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
