Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
