That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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