so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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