hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
