How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
