Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
