carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
