You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
