Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
