Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
