I want to walk on stilts...naked
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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