now i know why i became what i already was.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
