That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
