At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
