the condom got lost in my hair
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
