is your mom at the bar?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
