Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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