I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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