just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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