3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
