everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
