Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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