It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
