i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
