I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
