I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
