She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize