Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
