fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize