Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
