Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
