she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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