If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We have started to decorate penises.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
