Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
