Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
