pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
