This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize