Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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