why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
