update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
