You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
