Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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