What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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